weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
