Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
