Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
