Im at strip club and am horny
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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