So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
