Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
