bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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