i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
