I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
