It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
