5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
