Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
