well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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