Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
