..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
