My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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