You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
