I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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