She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
