You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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