Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
