At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
