who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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