Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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