that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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