I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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