I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
