And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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