omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
