it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
