Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
