Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
