yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
