Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Barsexuality is the new black.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
