We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
