Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
