question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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