Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
