I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
