found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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