he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
