Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Less talking, more tequila
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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