Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
