Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
