If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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