WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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