You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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