Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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