im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
