I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
