talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
