dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
